INTRODUCTION
There are many decisions in life that every one of us is faced with that have the potential to completely alter one’s life experience. One is about where one will spend eternity after this life and the other one is about who one marries. These two decisions require careful consideration. Once we decide about where we will spend eternity and who we must marry, these two decisions automatically impact on how we live and experience. So it is that one takes time and understands how to choose the right spouse. The question now is how do you choose the right spouse? This is a question that most young people struggle with and rightly so. In this article we discuss the process from the biblical point of view beginning with how Adam chose Eve and right through to how the Apostle Paul instructed us on how to do this. This article will be in two parts.
THE BEGINNING In Genesis 2:21 KJV, you have a story of how the first man (Adam) met his spouse (Eve). ‘And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man’ (Genesis 2:21-22). In this scriptural story God made the first man’s spouse by causing the man to go into a ‘deep sleep’ (Genesis 2:21) thereby shutting down all the man’s senses. The man had no sense of sight, feeling or emotion, in other words he was completely absent when God was picking what would be his spouse from his body. This absence is significant because it demonstrates a lack of care, worry and anxiety on the part of Adam because God cared for him. The bible in 1Peter 5:7 KJV says that ‘casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you’. God wants us to cast all our cares, worries, anxieties, the what if’s of finding our spouse upon him because he cares for us and wants to take care of our business including finding a suitable help meet (Spouse). This story describes how the first man (Adam) found his spouse Eve. How did the first woman (Eve) find her spouse (Adam) then in this story? In Genesis 2:20 the scripture says that ‘but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him’. Adamwas sensitised about his need. He was aware that he needed something or someone to connect with other than all the animals he had just finished naming (Genesis 2:19-20). However, Eve was unaware. As a matter of fact, she never even existed at this point. She had no needs, wants or desires at this point. Genesis 2: 22 says that ‘And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man’. Evedid not find the man, She was brought or taken to the man. Modern girls and young ladies encourage each other to go out and find/choose men to marry. They say among themselves that there is nothing wrong for a woman to find and choose a man to propose marriage to. Yes, there may not be anything wrong with that but it is not the order of God from the beginning as we have just established (Genesis 2:21-22). God’s order was as follows: he made Adam aware of his need for a help meet or companion because he had just given him a task/work of naming all the animals but yet still felt alone. And yet the same God had a plan and know exactly where that help meet was going to come from. After he made Eve, he brought her to Adam to meet him. So God was meeting Adams needs of companionship and help by bringing Eve. Therefore, the first step to choosing a spouse for a man is to realise the need for help and companionship. (Genesis 2:20). This comes with responsibility that a man requires help and support with. The second step is to pray and ask God to bring this person or spouse to you (Genesis 2:22). This is not a time prayer but to continue in prayer, asking God to bring this person, casting all cares and worries upon God because he cares about who your spouse must be. The first step for a woman in choosing a spouse is to pray to God and ask God to take you to your man, ‘and God brought her unto the man’ (Genesis 2:22). Man, if you allow God to bring your spouse to you, God will bring a spouse that will complete you and not compete with you. Lady, if you allow God to take you or lead you to your spouse, God will take you to a spouse you are going to complete and not compete with. The result of allowing God in this process is that when both of you meet, you the man will be able to say like Adam that ‘this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh’ (Genesis 2:23). You will both know and say that ‘this is the Lord’s doing; it is marvellous in our eyes’ (Psalm 118:23, Mark 12:11).What we have been looking at is how the first couple in the beginning met. At this point there was only one man and one woman. Someone may be saying that it is easier to choose a spouse when it is only the two of you available but now there thousands upon thousands of men and women to choose from. How do I choose my spouse? What we have looked at is God’s design for finding and knowing your spouse. In the next issue we are going to look at another Bible story of how another man found and chose his spouse from thousands upon thousands of women and how his spouse was taken or led to her man. This story will be key in helping us understand how we can apply God’s principles and design from the beginning in choosing our spouse. So look out for the next article on how to choose a spouse part two.